Thursday, January 19, 2017

You're Here

Dear Deede,

Your heart was the size of Texas. I realize everything is bigger in Texas, but it really is true. To add to the size of your heart was your phenomenal smile. I miss it, and I'm thinking of you more today than other days because today is your heavenly birthday.

I'm not sure why, but I just felt like writing. Since you passed away Jesse took up blogging, and I caught the spirit, and I have found that I really enjoy writing. I'm not a professional by any means, but I love getting to put my thoughts and feelings into words. I have realized that 3 years after you have passed your love still spills out from others that knew you. You loved and cared for so many, and in doing so you taught others to love. I'll never forget how you gave of your talents, time and treasures to so many over the years and how you never expected a thing in return. You loved your Lord, your family, your friends, and almost anybody else that fell into any other category. Your heart was huge.

I will forever remember when I met you on my first trip to Texas to meet Jesse. You welcomed me with open arms, and I remember thinking that I instantly felt like I was part of the family. I'd love to know how many hours we spent chatting my first weekend there, or how many cups of coffee mixed with your homemade cocoa I drank. I still treasure my coffee mug with Texas wildflowers...that is my special memory of you.

Do you remember the last talk we had before you passed away? You mentioned how you hoped the girls always knew how much you loved them and how you wished you could be there for them. Trust me, they know. We talk about it all the time. We still listen to the book with your voice recording. And, since our youngest is a spitting image of you, I think of you almost every day. Jesse doesn't really see it, but I certainly do. Not only does she look like you, but she has your mannerisms, hand gestures, voice inflections, etc. I think at least once a week I say, "You look just like your Grandma. She loved you both so much."

Did you know that your daughters are also so much like you? You'd be so proud of them. We all met in Portland this summer as a family, and there were so many times they did something and I thought, "Mom would be so proud." Audra had set up the room in a super cute way, making them feel so special when we arrived. Do you remember that princess tent you made them when we came to Texas that last time? It was very reminiscent of that. They both did so much to make that trip a wonderful time, paying attention to all the little details, just like you would. And Sarah....who could forget all the crafts and fun projects she had ready for the girls? They were in heaven. Your love for our girls shone through your girls.

About know he never shows his emotions at all, but I know he misses you. I remember watching him hug you for the last time, and I wish he could do that again. You'd be so proud of him and the husband and dad he is to us. He works hard both at home and at work. Jesse loves all his girls, even though he is outnumbered by the amount of estrogen in the house. He takes all our emotions and energy in stride and loves us unconditionally. Like the girls are just like you, he is just like his father. I call him "Ron" all the time. He walks like him, has the same mannerisms, the same laugh, etc.

You are missed, but we are so thankful that you knew the one thing needful and shared the good news with others. You are now free from that horrible cancer and all the worries of this world. You knew what you received through your God-given faith in Jesus: forgiveness of sins, and eternal life in heaven. And now, we look forward to the day we can rejoice with you in heaven.

One of the most vivid memories I have is when we were leaving after our last trip to Texas. Do you remember when we were getting into the car and our eldest jumped out of the car, ran up to the porch and gave you another hug to say, "Te Amo, Grandma?" That was a moment to treasure. I think today is a wonderful day to say that again.

All our love....

Simply put....You're here. 

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