Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Stop That Train...Or Not

Make it stop. I feel memories slipping away. Tell me I'll remember these moments.

Earlier this month it was my daughter's birthday, so I felt the urge to get out the scrapbook I made for her first year. I was enjoying a trip down memory lane when I turned to the page in this picture here, and when I looked up there they were....7 years later...playing Legos. 

In the blink of an eye a super fast slideshow of visions and memories ran through this tired mom's mind. How did we go from tummy time to Lego building so quickly? How could I ever have wished for time to speed up and now I'm panicking because it needs to slow down?

I've heard this phrase many times, "The days seem long, but the years are short." I couldn't agree with that more. 
When you are deep "in the trenches" it is easy to want to fast forward. I can't wait for them to sleep through the night...It will be fun when they can finally walk...I can't wait for them to be potty trained...And that list could go on. 

For as many times as I've looked towards the next step, I now realize I don't know if I truly stopped to treasure the moments we were in. The day-to-day demands in life are hard, and it often overshadows the good, the joy, the celebrations of the little moments in life. 

So as I sat with this scrapbook on my lap I suddenly felt like I was on a train, one that we boarded years ago and has slowly been picking up steam over time. As the years fly by and more memories board this proverbial train I worry that some of the memories that might fly out the window of my mind will be the good ones. The precious ones. Will I remember the sweet moments of them playing Legos or how they used to push each other's buttons? Will I remember the sweet smiles and twinkles in their eyes when they laugh or the eye rolls in their teenage years?

While I want their hugs and giggles to stay, the more I think about it, though, I don't want this train to stop. To make it stop would mean preventing them from experiencing so many beautiful experiences in life. My new goal is to be even more present in the day-to-day, knowing that some of the everyday moments will make up for some of the greatest memories later. 

I'm already prepared for the days coming when I know the fast slideshow of memories will rush through my mind...their high school and college graduations, weddings, and God-willing the first time I see them hold their own children. I'll cry. It will probably end up being big ugly tears, but they'll be tears of joy. I'll smile, as well, because no matter the memory that pops up it will remind me that we are blessed. God is good...ALWAYS. 

Simply put...just do life.

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